From the Blog

Another Huge Deposit In My Karma Bank

At the grocery store again. I was taking a suggestion and picking out some fuji apples at Fred’s. I like apples and I miss some east coast varieties. But I figured I’d go CRAZY and experiment with other apple varieties I haven’t tried. My parents have always worried about a policeman knocking on their door late at night from their daughter’s “experimentation.”

I had a shopping basket in my hand, and a couple choice apples I had picked out. I reached out to get a plastic produce bag…and I swear I’m a psychic or clairvoyant or prophetic or something, because as my hands were full, I thought to myself, “I’m going to drop these apples.”

And sure enough, I did. I dropped one of the apples. It fell to the floor it slow motion, and landed with a flat plop. Goddamnit! I picked it up, and my situation had not changed. My hands were still full and as I was trying to get organized, I fricken dropped the apple again. GODDAMNIT!

Now. I could have been an asshole, and put that bruised apple back. And I did think about that for a good couple seconds. I could have slipped it back into the pile and no one would have ever been the wiser. And if anyone had observed me dropping the apple, twice, I still could have put the apple back in a really sneaky and stealthy sort of way.

But no. I took the bruised apple. I didn’t put it back. I bought it and ate it today. It was pretty good, besides the giant bruises. It had a hint of pear taste, which is okay, but not what I’m looking for. Sorry fuji apples. I’m not interested in your vaguely pearish taste.

And since I took personal responsibility, and bought the bruised apple instead of putting it back, it means I get to be insufferably self-righteous with my produce experimentation. I hope the gala apples are ready for it.


  1. Dearest, most dearest…I miss you.
    So a big hug from Boston.
    Try pink ladies (an apple varietal) They are a bit like a cross between a gala and a granny smith. Yummy.

    Oh yeah…
    Shun SHAM-POO
    Demand REAL POO!

  2. fuji apples suck. bland, blah, yurk…

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