I don’t get a lot of trolls. I get maybe one or two troll comments a YEAR. So like, none, practically. And I do get trolls, they are usually drive by comments, people who find my blog randomly while searching for something. Like Mighty Putty, or Boob Fund Jars, or (almost) Failing DMV Tests, or real true stories about how to almost break your toe with shampoo bottles.
By design, I don’t write about “controversial” topics. I have opinions and stuff, and I think some people are idiots. But I bore myself just thinking about bloviating about politics or mommy wars or religion or shoes or whatever. I will gladly bloviate about toothbrushes. And I do rant, but it’s usually about some dumb thing I did myself. And I do hold a special warm fire of hate in my dark heart for leaf blowers.
So what the hell do I write about that would attract trolls? I was stunned a few years ago to get a couple comments from someone outraged, OUTRAGED! that I was going to beautiful places in Oregon, taking pictures and writing about it. Because by writing about it, and sharing these places, I was going to ruin the state for people who live here. I was told to GO HOME, because it was all those rich Californians and East Coasters who were making it impossible for native Oregonians to continue to live here. He helpfully defined a “native Oregonian” as someone who goes back three generations.
One of my pregnancy stories was linked to by some anti-child site, and reviled as proof that pregnant women are idiots. They mused that my husband was certainly cheating on me since I was a fat cow. And if he wasn’t currently cheating on me, he certainly would after the little piglets came. They wondered if I would say “It was all worth it” in real life, because face it, that’s what all parents say about their squealing brats. One person lamented that I sounded smart before I became pregnant, but I clearly was now an imbecile. Fun group.
I got a comment recently from someone looking for a product review. And I wrote about said product, but instead of a review, I wrote a boring story about it. And this person was pissed that he somehow didn’t know how to use the internet, and got lost reading my stupid boring story. He determined that I must be fat and lonely, and by the way, I’m a terrible writer and I’m not funny at all. There were some crass sexual remarks in there for good measure, but he forgot to call me a bitch or a whore, so I am assuming he must have been off his game on the day he found my blog.
I have left all these comments unpublished. And I will continue to not allow troll comments. Most trolls see this as a violation of free speech. I see it as keeping a nice community. If you want free speech, the internet is a big place. Start your own blog. You don’t get to crap on mine.