From the Blog

Some People May Call It Anality

I prefer to call it “Prophetic Practicality.”

I have two sets of sheets that I bought at the same time. They are identical except for the color. When I strip the bed to launder them, I like to switch out one sheet set for the other. I alternate between my sets of sheets so that neither of them wear out prematurely. They both get an even amount of usage.

I do this with my towels also. When I launder a towel, I fold it and place it at the bottom of my stack of towels. So that my towels are always rotated and get even usage. “First in, first out.” I think it’s a golden rule, or it’s in the bible or something.

The Roommate, who is the other member of this household, (not the cat), believes this system creates excessive folding. If you strip the bed, launder the sheets, and simply replace them on the bed, you never have sheets to fold. Because what is worse than folding sheets? Nothing. Nothing is worse than folding sheets. Nothing.

For me, this means a perfectly good set of sheets remains unused in the closet, while the other sheets are worn out to an inch of their 400 thread count lives. We may be, like, entering a depression and all, and doesn’t it make sense to evenly distribute our towel and sheet usage? And try to make everything last longer?

So I explain this rationale, and we switch out the set of sheets and fold the newly laundered set and put them away. But I get a smirk and the “I’m indulging you because you’re crazy” face. This, I get from a man who had wagon wheels on his sheets before I came along.*

*(Some people might call this a blatant lie, but I call it “Creative License.”)

Comments

  1. I don’t like folding sheets either. Short arms, you know.

  2. Short armed sheet folders unite!

  3. Sounds like a Road Show

  4. Let me get this straight…….you do laundry? You are the perfect women!

    I’m weird when it comes to sheets. They need to be white! Don’t ask me why!

  5. I suck in the laundry department. I do about 7% of the laundry. Sheets are weird to fold.

    So you do have some compulsive behaviors… you cannot make fun of me anymore.

  6. When I place sheets and blankets on my bed, they need to hang at equal lengths from each side. My wife thinks this is a clear manifestation of an undiagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder. My response? Nonsense!! You all know how uncomfortable your sleep gets when the blankets get lopsided and tangled up!

    The point is, if there is a logical explanation for obsessive-compulsive behavior, then it is not obsessive-compulsive. I don’t care what the psychiatric community has to say about it. So rock the fuck on, Ms. Mile73!

    Also- this is just the tip of the iceberg of eye-rolling incidents you have to look forward to. On both ends. You got a full multi-cam syndicated sitcom ahead of you. It’ll be like “The Odd Couple” only with two Felixes.

  7. I must give credit where it is due: He does the majority of the laundry.

    BUT! I also have to say, this is due in part to his being a former Laundry Professional, and somehow, I manage not to do the laundry “just right.” I overload the machine? Or something?

    I’m just saying, I’m not the only OCDer in this hizouse.

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