From the Blog

Kinda Bullcrap

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As I was climbing the stairs to go to bed last night, I thought I caught a vague whiff of gas. Not flatulence. We don’t have that in our house. It was heating gas, or cooking gas. The Roommate was already asleep. I trudged back down the stairs in the dark, and the fireplace pilot light was glowing as usual. I ducked into the kitchen in the dark, and there was no blue flames on the stove or in the oven. Maybe I was imagining things. I do sometimes have an overactive sense of smell. Seriously. I’m like a bloodhound. So I went back upstairs and hit the hay.

I had the day off today. I spent the morning eating cereal and checking internets. I showered and left the apartment to get some coffee with a friend and then run some errands. I came back two hours later, opened the apartment door, and the air was THICK with the smell of gas. Holy crap! I had forgotten all about the night before!

I examined the stove again, and now in daylight, I could see that there was a burner on low, without the flame. Brilliant! It had been going for 17 hours! I shut off the burner and threw open the windows. Thank goodness for 20 foot ceilings. And then my imagination ran away and I began to think about how our apartment could have exploded and became a set for a Terminator movie.

And THEN, I got mad at my cat.

Aren’t pets supposed to be clairvoyant to danger? Aren’t pets supposed to have such loyalty to their owners that they jump on them, or squawk, or be suitably annoying until the humans realize they are in mortal peril? And then, miraculously, near-certain tragedy is narrowly avoided because of the heroic pet? And then kitty is on the evening news? And maybe CNN?

WTF, cat?

But then, I was glad not to be on the evening news, because then we’d have to admit it was one of the humans in the household (not me) that left the stove burner on through the night. And then, despite the TWO ivy league* educated humans in the house, we may have all ended up as Darwin Award winners. Except for the cat.

*(The Roommate says a Reed education is better than Ivy League. This blue-blooded East Coaster has no fricken comment.)


  1. A dog would have saved our lives.

    Cats just don’t care.

  2. I’ve always suspected your cat is kind of autistic.

  3. …and didn’t you go to Harvard Extension?

  4. I’m pretty sure that Reed only hires faculty who went to Ivys. So, in their minds, they’re teaching their students a la ivy-stylee, but correcting the mistakes their own professors made.

  5. Yup Robbb, I was slummin’ it over at the Extension School.

  6. You should definitely get a dog.

  7. This Reedie says hell yeah!

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