From the Blog

Grocery Shopping Is NOT A Goddamned Recreational Activity

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Those who know me know I’m not a whiner. I’m not. I’m noooooooot! But people, I have to take issue with the super giant grocery store concept. Big, big grocery stores. Acres big. The size of multiple football fields. The size of aircraft hangars.

I think we are being convinced that bigger is always, always better. When I want to buy milk, a lemon, some green onions and some parmesan cheese, I shouldn’t need a GPS unit to navigate the store. I’m looking at you, Fred Meyer’s on SE 39th. I understand that store is under construction. And it will emerge from its current dank construction labyrinth as a totally new, bright, amazing shopping extravaganza. We will spend hours strolling the aisles and perusing shelves in this fabulous new shopping wonderland. We’ll buy things we didn’t know we needed. All for the joy of shopping! Our money will fly out of our wallets and purses! And we will be happy to see it go! Because we will be mesmerized by our fabulous shopping experience.

But fuck. I just want to get some goddamned cheese, milk, green onions and a lemon. And I have to go to the four corners of the store to do it. It’s walking a city block and back. I need a jungle guide to navigate. What I am whining about declaring is that even when this monstrous Fred Meyer’s is completed, I will steadfastly avoid it just because I don’t want a “shopping experience.” I just want milk. Sometimes toothpaste. There’s something to be said for smaller mom and pop and specialty stores.

I’ll go to the shabby, non-remodeled blue collar Safeway down the street, which is also big, but not giant. Because I can run in and out in less than five minutes. And I don’t have to carve out someone’s liver for a parking space. And they don’t have puddles and gullies the size of the Willamette in the parking lot. I think today I created a new Olympic event jumping over the puddles in the torrential rain with my arms full of groceries. It was you know, fun.



  1. Thanks for picking up the green onions!

  2. Switch to organic milk, it’s next to the bulk section and you don’t have to haul behind to the other end of the store.

    My problem is I find myself going there for sushi waaaay too much. Not that the sushi there’s spectacular, but I have a weakness for the kaiten-zushi.

  3. JenRojo says

    honey, isn’t there a Trader Joe’s right around the corner on 39th?

  4. There is a TJ’s down the street. And I love me some Trader Joe’s. I can’t tell you how happy I was shopping at TJ’s after moving to Hawaii and back.

    But I just wanted a quick trip after work. In and out. And people fight for parking at TJ’s with machetes. I don’t know how it doesn’t end up on the evening news.

    “Another local woman dead from from sword wounds in the Trader Joe’s parking lot…News at 11.”

  5. I hear ya sister!! Winco is the biggest store here, i think. And it is full of crazy folks driving their shopping carts in an irresponsible manner. But prices are so good, I deal with it. The iPod helps immensely.

    Trader Joe’s. ah. It finally opened in Redding, only 20 months behind schedule. It has a massive parking lot. I am so happy about this that I think I will go today to get food for camping. yes. that sounds like a plan.

  6. Nit-picky NW thing… it’s Fred Meyer, not Fred Meyer’s. Just like it’s I-5 not The 5. And Nordstrom not Nordstrom’s. Possibly just a nit-picky Diane things but I’m feeling nit-picky today. Is it nit-picky or nit picky?

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