From the Blog

Saturday Night Stories

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I wasn’t expecting to have a social life so soon upon my arrival in Portland. It’s been a pleasant surprise.

It may seem odd, but I’m sometimes more comfortable as a homebody. After a couple years of having roommates, moving around, and general chaos and upheaval, I was almost looking forward to being in a new city on my own. I’m more used to living alone.I was anticipating a hefty amount of anti-social time. Perhaps I wouldn’t shower Or I could wear all my clothes at the same time. Or I could start yelling at parked cars. I could get 15 more cats. There was a whole world of possibilities.

Alas, it was not to be. As it turns out, I write this blog. And it brings out all the crazies and internet stalkers. There’s like, a whole community of people who blog. All of a sudden, I have a social life. So I suggest to anyone who ever moves to a new city and doesn’t know anyone, write a blog. People will stalk, er, find you and invite you places. Or as back up, you can use my tried and true method for expanding my social circle: date men and steal all their friends.

So I was on the phone with my sister, telling her about my weekend. She’s all cute and fun and in Los Angeles and so she is a bit more social. She goes out a lot more than I do. I was all bragging to her that I was out until 3 am Saturday. I’ve only been in town for 2 months and I’m already out until 3am! Whooo!

She says, “Oh yeah? Awesome. I spent Saturday in the ER because I dislocated my jaw and I couldn’t close my mouth. They gave me vicodin and I’m psyched!”

For the record, she was yawning and her jaw popped. And she didn’t think anything of it until days later when it started to swell and hurt.

I’m sure I had a better time at a party than she did in the ER. But damn it! Can’t I just have the better Saturday night story just once???


  1. Or, you could always date a guy and steal even his friends’ friends, which is how you met me and VJ! :-)

    BTW, I can relate to your sister: a vicodin prescription can totally turn around even the shittiest of days. In fact, in many ways, it’s even better than having a social life.

  2. You’ll just need to combine your next party with a trip to the ER.

  3. Hmm, Psyched about Vicodin…expect lecture soon!

  4. Uh, I don’t know how to email you from this site, so I’m just posting my whole damn email up here

    right now

    (email deleted as requested)

    and I guess if other people want to email me they can, but please don’t sell it to the evil spammers, and if you (meaning Heather) decide to delete this post after noting the above email address, I would be much pleased

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