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Friday Cat Blogging: Fountains of Puke

A friend went out of town and she gave me her lovely mother’s day flowers. I thought this would be an interesting scientific experiment. My cat eats plants. I know this. Even fake plants. And fake flowers. If it looks vaguely vegetal, he’ll try to eat it. So a bouquet of flowers looks like a salad bar to him.

I put the flowers on the kitchen table and went to work. I figured the worst that would happen is that maybe he would gnaw some leaves and puke them back up later.

I got home last night and indeed, he puked. But it wasn’t little bits of greenery, like you might expect. Like when cats and dogs eat grass. It was giant piles of half-digested cat food. And it was everywhere. EVERYWHERE. And like I had envisioned as a worse-cast scenario, he indeed puked on my bed. Awesome.

So I was picking it up and of course I was pissed at myself. Why did I think something might have changed? He likes to eat plants, then puke them up. It’s not his fault.

And I realized, he got sick a LOT. Then I started to feel bad. What the hell kind of flowers were those? Were they poisonious to cats? Should I have looked them up? He never has any health issues. He normally never pukes. So maybe one of them was really bad for him. Why did I not think of this?

And my well-tuned guilt machine kicked in. I don’t spend enough time with him. I’m at work, he’s home by himself all day. It’s a one room studio and he must be bored. And I’ve put him through so much in the past few years. All the moves I’ve made. All the new places. We lived for a while in a house with 5 other cats and they beat him up! And all the trips to the vet for the Hawaii quarantine process. And the trips on the airplane! In cargo! And all the rides in the car. This poor kitty! I’m such a bad fucking mom!

I finished cleaning up the puke from the floor and the rugs and the bed. I went down the hall and knocked on my gay neighbors’ door. I handed them the flowers. And I said “Happy Mother’s Day.”

Comments

  1. Poor cat – is he okay?!

    Oh, and thanks for not posting pictures!

  2. Meredith says

    What’s worse, puke or poop? Coming home to puke piles, or poop smears on the carpet from where poop hung onto hair still hanging out the back end. My floor is her canvas.

  3. Wow, Meredith. I was worried that the title “Fountains of Puke” was a little too colorful. But no, you topped it. “My Floor Is Her Canvas.” Awesome!

  4. You’re right to wonder – a lot of flowers are very dangerous for cats (and dogs). Here’s a link to the ASPCA’s list of common poisonous plants. http://www.aspca.org/site/PageServer?pagename=pro_apcc_common

  5. I came home last night after being away all day and he was fine. He was perky and friendly as always. David is afraid of him.

  6. Puke and Poo stories. I’m so proud.

  7. Gay Neighbors: “Aww, thanks, Heather! Cat-chewed flower stems. And is this emesis? Beautiful!”

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