From the Blog

My Dreams Are Disaster P0rn

I’d like to find out why I go through phases where I have intense, memorable dreams, and other phases where my sleep is just inky blackness. This week has been an intense string of dreams that I have able to wake up and articulate like half-asleep epics. My dream last night shook me awake, which doesn’t happen often.

I was with a group of people I didn’t know. We were high on a mountain, and we were exploring a cave or something. And someone said she felt the ground shake. In my dream, I didn’t feel the ground shake, but I went outside the cave to see what was going on. And the peak of the mountain, not far away, was covered in a giant white plume of steam or snow or cloud or something. Something bad. Coming at us. An avalanche or an eruption or something.

I told everyone we needed to get off the mountain. And the rest of my dream is just a panic, corralling strangers and kids, climbing on rocky trails, trying to cross ravines. Basically, my dream turned into Lord of the Rings trying to get away from this eminent danger.

And somewhere in dream logic, we jumped from the wilderness to the suburbs, but all the streets and houses were deserted.  Which made it creepier. Like everyone else knew to get away from the danger and were long gone. And there were emergency personnel, but they basically ignored us or told us to keep moving, or they rushed rush away, off to someplace else.

At some point I woke up, and when I was awake enough to parse out the dream silliness, I thought about a movie script about hikers stranded on an erupting volcano. With a female protagonist.  Disaster flick + female hero = kick ass.  It’s going to make millions.

But then I was thinking about other disaster movies involving earthquakes or weather. And I’m still half asleep, so I think about how many times I have sat on the couch at my parents’ house watching The Weather Channel. Usually with the sound turned off. Seriously. They used to live in Florida and this all sort of made sense. Now for me,  it’s not a real trip home unless I get a good hour or two watching The Weather Channel with the sound off.

The Weather Channel has those disaster porn shows.  “It Could Happen Tomorrow,” or whatever. About tsunamis hitting Seattle or earthquakes hitting San Francisco. On The Weather Channel. Because the weather by itself is not exciting enough. “We must feature destruction somewhere! We’re competing with the History Channel!”

These disaster porn shows all have dubious science and low production value, but they have the guy with the “impeding doom” voice. I’m sure there are grannies in Florida who watch these things and get freaked out for their sons and daughters living in Seattle. Because we all know, if shit goes down, Seattle is screwed.

The Weather Channel really ought to be more responsible with their programing. But not until after I sell them my “Stranded On A Volcano” idea.


  1. Who or what are you trying to corral or take care of….?

  2. a. I guess I shouldn’t have sent you that article about the giant magma pool under southwestern Washington yesterday
    b. Did you know The Weather Channel is going to start showing movies? (like The Perfect Storm)

  3. “We have no dreams at all or interesting ones. We should strive to be awake in the same way” — “fast” Freddy Nietzsche

    Obviously, your dreams mean you are going to be struck by lightning, but will survive and go on to be the first(?) woman on the moon — the first non-inflatable woman, I mean. It’s obvious to me anyway, but then again I don’t know shit about dream interpretation.

    FWIW, I do the same thing — long periods of apparent dreamlessness punctuated by several-night sprees of vivid dreams.

    This I know: I will not be the first woman on the moon.

  4. Dale, you are marvelous. I wish I could write as well as you. I fricken love your blog.

  5. i discovered the weather channels porn about 3 months ago. I wallowed it. watched california and manhattan disappear as the ice caps melted. became over anxious about imminence of the yellowstone super-volcano erupting and wiping out north america, of course setting off Lassen and mt shasta, so redding is complete burnt off the planet. Tsumani’s, lightning storms, tornades… i finally burned out on it. but it was very exciting while it lasted.

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