From the Blog

I Totally Can’t Deal With Psychos. Seriously.

I have been on the outskirts of an ongoing conversation at work about a difficult client. She nabbed some poor soul at our company, and has been running her ragged. The client suddenly demanded new changes to an agreed-upon design, and when the changes were made, exactly to her specifications, she squawked at the results saying, “That’s not what I wanted! I don’t understand why this is so difficult! Don’t you understand we’re on a deadline!?!” Demanding! Impatient! Entitled! Insulting! In short, the usual psycho behavior.

Thankfully, I haven’t had to deal with her directly. Over the past week, I’ve heard stories of the latest escapades with this woman. “Listen to what she said today!” We marveled at how off-the-wall and crazy she was. I felt defensive for my co worker who is having to deal with her. It seems like a glaring injustice that someone is able to treat other people this way and get away with it. I’m sure this is her operation. She’s abusive. And she gets her way. And this behavior is reinforced. She’s probably been this way all her life. It’s a rolling snowball of assholery.

I heard people in the office puff up and say “I hope I don’t have to talk to her because I would NEVER let someone talk to ME that way.” People love to pretend they’re tough and get worked up about how THEY would handle an hothead nutjob. And of course, I spun off into a little fantasy land of what *I* would say to her. I began planning it all out. And instead of being thankful for not having to deal with her, I began wishing that if the phone rang, it would be her. And I would get to talk to her. That bitch! I’d let her fricken have it! In a really professional sort of way!

So, now. I am about as tough as a day-old breakfast pastry. A danish with the goopy cheese in the middle. I am probably the LEAST confrontational person in the world. I’d like to say that I am able to resolve issues, and get what I want, by being “Diplomatic.” I’m pretty sure that’s the term I use on my resume. Diplomacy. It might be indirect, and sometimes weasley, and occasionally dishonest. But most of the time, I have coasted through life, completely issue-free, because of my amazing diplomacy skills. No issues in my life, ever! At all!

But my diplomacy is completely foiled by psychos. You can’t reason with a crazy person. They have drama! and outrage! on their side. I get bewildered with unreasonableness. Thankfully, besides this nutjob calling at work, there are absolutely NO crazy people in Portland! It’s true!

Ultimately with this client, it’s not about design or deadlines. It’s about being a miserable bitch. She will go about her merry-psycho way. And I will not have to deal with her. Which is all for the better. Because I’d fricken punch that bitch in the mouth.

Comments

  1. Meredith says

    Why not punch her, in like, the ankle or something? A person like this will never learn, will never change and no one can change them, even if they’re punched in the ankle.

  2. I’m working on my anti-psycho ninja skills. They will not withstand my masterful Flying-Dragon-Roundhouse-Super-Kick! Ka-POW psychos!

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