It’s Friday Furry Bastard Blogging, now on Thursday! It’s how we roll here, bitches!
Tomorrow is a travel day for me, and you won’t be at work wasting time and reading blogs tomorrow anyway. So TODAY is a good day to pound another nail into my eventual spinster-crazy-cat-lady coffin.
This is an email discussion I had with Dave, who is unabashedly afraid of cute, furry kitties:
“I think it’s weird to *not* be afraid of cats; they have no conscience. They’re the sociopaths of pets. They all have Antisocial Personality Disorder. Seriously:
1. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;
2. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;
3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;
4. Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;
5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others;
6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;
7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.
I think cats hit all seven points.”
Me: “Dinger may claw furniture and puke on my bed, but I’ll have you know, he’s NEVER been arrested.”