From the Blog

Fricken Hot Sunday Afternoon and Not Spending Money

It’s Sunday afternoon and it’s 137 degrees in northwest Portland. Know what I’m doing right now? Sitting in my apartment sweating. It’s supposed to be all green and cool and rainy up here. This hot weather is total bullcrap. Can we get on this global warming thing please?

Okay? So I’m lamenting the slow, painful decay of my little iBook G4 that I’ve had since early 2005. I’ve been super-dippy-happy with it throughout the three and a half years I’ve had it. It has worked great.

I’ve been learning Photoshop and web stuff on this little 12 inch screen. Through the various renditions of Adobe programs, the performance has lagged further and further. So I wait 5 seconds or so every time I choose a different brush. It’s cute. I upgraded the RAM as high as it will go, and I had my IT Department conduct experimental surgery to install a bigger hard drive. As far as upgrades, I’ve squeezed it as hard as I can.

Now the problem I’m noticing is that it won’t play flash videos correctly online. I’ve tried all the settings and drivers. I’ve used different browsers. But flash won’t play correctly unless I scroll the screen so the top of the video is hidden. It’s a difficult thing for me to explain. You’ll just have to trust me. And now also, videos on my hard drive that worked fine before, now are not playing properly.

It’s been months like this, so now I can’t remember if something changed, or if I downloaded something, or if my laptop was out whoring it up with some other skanky laptop and “caught” something.

So, fine. I’ve lived with all the little video bull crap, and I’ve gotten used to it, and all the little quirks. Besides all that, it works fine.

Besides the battery! The battery is crapping out too! But it’s a three year old battery, (the original was recalled because they caused fires or some such) so it only holds a charge for an little over an hour. Bummer.

But. I got used to it. And I’m living with it. Okay?

But NOW! Because the battery is crappy, I spend a lot of time with it plugged in. And I started getting little shocks from the metal screws of the casing! WTF! The housing is the white plastic, of course, but on the bottom are little metal screws holding it together. And did I mention it’s 167 degrees in Portland right now? Naturally, I’m wearing shorts, or sometimes, nothing at all. And every once in a while, I get a little bee-sting where the metal screws touch my skin. Ow! It’s like tattoo pain! And unless I’m getting another a tattoo of Al Gore and polar bears on my thigh, I don’t want to feel tattoo pain! OW!

Okay? So doesn’t this mean I should get a new laptop? With a bigger screen? And more video RAM (because right now, I only have 32 MB)? And I spend, like ALL my free time on my laptop? And it is sort of like a gateway to a different profession (graphic design and web stuff)? So I don’t have to be a ghoulish accountant anymore?

Is there anyone on the planet who deserves a new laptop as much as me? Or in the very least, is there anyone sweltering in her apartment, in unseasonably hot weather, getting electrical shocks, whining loudly on the internet, who deserves a new laptop as much as me?

I didn’t say I had the money for this. In fact, I absolutely DO NOT have the two grand or more needed to buy a new laptop. But COME ON! Tattoo pain! I suffer!

No? I should not get a new laptop? Because I don’t have the money and it would be unwise financially?

Gah. But that TOTALLY means I should get a new iPhone.


  1. You nailed it. A 32MB video card will only get you the ‘pee’ in Photoshop. And unfortunately, there’s no way to swap it out in a laptop (that my layperson semi-techy ass is presently aware of).

    Also: if you’re using your computer as much as you say these days, *and* you’re trying to run demanding programs on it, *and* it’s 95 degrees outside, then your poor little G4 is unquestionably running rather hot. For what it’s worth, I’d buy a little fan and keep it pointed right at that bad boy at all times. Think of it as hospice care (just keep him comfortable in these final days).

    I happen to be in the market for a new computer now too, after almost 5 uninspired years on a Dell Inspiron 5150 laptop. I’m thinking of going with a 17″ MacBook Pro, but the price tag consistently leaves me screaming for the exits.

    I’ll probably bite the bullet in the next couple weeks and get it anyway (fuck you, shitty economy! I deserve an advanced piece of machinery I may never use!). *You* may want to move that boob job money into a new iMac fund. Even the most basic one will handle Photoshop well, and you can get it for way under $2K.

    Besides… what’s a little consumer debt between friends?

  2. Amen, Robbb! I knew there was a reason why I’ve always loved you.

  3. BTW, the clearest sign you’ve been living a life of perverse superfluousness is the fact that *you* participated in a boob job fund. Still trying to figure that one out…

  4. Yes, Internet, I have huge boobs.

  5. Hey, I’m not sayin’ anything that you haven’t already said here yourself. That would be crass and ungentlemanly of me.

  6. ^^lol^^

  7. I think you should get a PC.

  8. Steve: BLASPHEMER!!!

  9. Re: Steve’s comment – hard to believe he and I are related eh?!

  10. The only apple items in the house are the two ipods that Uncle Dave gave the boys for Christmas last year.

  11. if you really want to move into graphic design and web stuff, then Mac is the only way… otherwise us graphic design and web stuff people are forced to back off silently and not speak to you any more. its like a sort of code.

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