From the Blog

Culture Spasm

I’ve never spent any time in the Pacific Northwest, except for my mad-dash PDX/SEA trip in December. I have spent time in each corner of the country. I grew up in Massachusetts, my parents lived in Florida for a time, and of course, I recently escaped the Los Angeles area. I’m just going to treat Hawaii as a four-month vacation. A vacation where I had to get up at 2:30 am to go to work.

Each of these places have slight cultural differences. It’s not really a culture “shock,” because everyone speaks english, and the groceries are primarily the same. In Florida, there are more drugstores for all the old folks waiting to kick the bucket. In Oregon, there are more Subarus, polar fleece, and functional shoes. In Massachusetts, there are more people who pahk their cahs when they go to the bahs. In LA, there’s like? A lot more people who, like, flip their hair? And OMG, Brangelina may totally be having twins! See, I feel justified in making there crass generalizations. Because I’ve flipped my hair, and gone to the bahs and bought cold medicine. And now I wear functional shoes.

So the differences are mild enough that they don’t cause a culture shock, but a culture “spasm.” Except for the notice below, posted in a Fred Meyers (the local grocery store chain):

Big Game Raffle

I was getting my cigarettes, booze and lottery tickets, and I was so pleased that I could enter the Big Game Raffle all the the same line. I’m gettin’ me a gun rack for the back of my car.


  1. Fifteen minutes after proposing to Vejune three years ago, I ordered a plate of venison and savored every bite of it. It was like, “Yar! Just bagged me a wife! How you like me now??”

    And last year, as I emptied a Glock 9 into the inner circle of a man-sized target for the first time, I could feel my inner Constitutional settings start to recalibrate.

    So y’know what? A big game hunt sounds kind of good to me right about now. And combining it with a raffle? Well, you might as well just blow me in the In-N-Out drive thru line, ’cause that’s how super rad that is.

  2. Rob, your comment above more than excuses you for being temped by the suburbs. Also, I don’t suspect you are going to go all Dick Cheney on us. I suspect in your medicine cabinet, there are more hair-care products for you than Vejune. :-)

  3. Don’t hate be because I’m beautiful.

  4. i feel ya with respect to the “spasms”. it has been an adjustment here, in NorCal. hunting is HUGE here… 2 out of three vehicles are trucks, at least half have gun racks. i pulled into a parking space at the grocery not so long ago and came face to face with a something-point buck, drooling blood, strapped to the hood of a camoflage-painted 70’s era pick up. ugh. no shopping for me, thank you…

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