I have a very long list of things to get done “when I have the time.” Do you have one of these lists too? I began adding to it in earnest when it began to look like I’d be reducing my hours at my job. Now I have a list filled with projects and tasks that would normally get done only in my wildest dreams. My wildest dream meaning, “when I have the time.”
Now I have more time and I’m scared shitless. Now I don’t have a lot of excuses if I don’t get things done. Now I’ll be goddamned accountable since that well worn safety blanket is going away. Before I always had reasons why I couldn’t develop my creative endeavors. I don’t have the time! It’s comfortable to have outside restrictions, because then it’s not my fault if I don’t live up to my potential. I never had the time! Not my fault! I’m a victim over here!
Familiar? I could dream about these ideas and they could stay in my mind, untested and unchallenged, as a nice sunny fantasy that I could visit when ever I wanted. If I drag them out into reality, cold, hard, real, reality, then what happens if my grand ideas fail? If I fall flat in real life, then my elaborate, precious fantasy goes with it. And that would suck. Maybe I should just keep my desk job and be happy with where I am.
Ha, no. Yes, it’s scary. But we’re going to have a go at it. What’s the worst that could happen? We fail, we blow through our savings, we can’t get a job in this market, and we end up living under a bridge. Not so bad, right? You’ll give us spare change at the exit ramp, right?
I have a lot of stuff to do. Here are some of the things I have on my to do list now that I have 20 more hours in my week.
And more mundane, personal stuff that usually is reserved for rushing around on the weekends:
That’s a lot of stuff. I will have to remind myself not to set too-high goals as a way to self-sabotage so I can give up. Not that I have a history of doing that or anything. Whistles innocently. I know me. And I’ll have to keep track of what I want to do so I don’t get overwhelmed and freaked out and start to say…I want to do all that stuff, but I don’t have the time.