From the Blog

January 2011: You Are an Asshole

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Okay, so some updates.

Moving sucks. Someone PLEASE send me this post the next time we think about moving. Which will be in four months or so, when our sublease is up. Moving sucks. This was a particularly disorganized move, for no particular reason. After three days with a dozen trips between apartments, we are about two thirds of the way done. Moving sucks. You hear me? Moving. It sucks.

Last week, my boss, who was a sweetie pie and one of the best bosses I’ve had in a long, long time, was fired left the company. This was unexpected and a bit of a shock. I don’t like it. Not one bit.

Also last week, I found out my cat may have a kidney insufficiency. “Insufficiency” is a less foreboding word than “failure,” but it means the same thing. He’s been drinking a hell of a lot of water and peeing it all out. A bad sign. He’s as happy, energetic and affectionate as ever, and he’s taking the chaos of our move like a champ. I’m suddenly hearing a prognosis of “months,” but sometimes up to “years.” I may be in denial, but I find it hard to believe.

The vet was puzzled that he seemed to be in such good spirits considering the test results we got back. She would have expected him to be lethargic and depressed. So he’s getting some antibiotics to rule out any other infection that could have skewed the test results. I got him special expensive food that he doesn’t like. And we’ll just see how it goes. I’m hoping the tests were wrong. Or if they aren’t wrong, he’s just such a super kitty he’ll hang on for a long time. But if he does start to slow down, I’ll have some decisions to make.

So I’m stressed out, and I haven’t slept well in weeks, and I caught a cold. Then I took Nyquil and slept awesome. I would totally nurture a Nyquil addiction if it didn’t taste like ass.

We are getting settled into our new place downtown. We are tripping over the unpacked boxes and trying to find places for all our stuff. We did do quite a bit of downsizing. But still not enough to fit comfortably into 533 square feet. Even our queen sized bed is wedged into place.

But this is a good experiment. We don’t need a lot of this stuff, even the stuff we have left. The last bits of sentimentality are going to evaporate the more we trip over each other and I stub my toes on boxes. Letting go of stuff is hard. Letting go of clothes is hard. Letting go of books is hard. It’s haaaarrrrd.

This is the third brand newish building we’ve lived in the past couple of years. This is the second dorm/hotel style apartment building we’ve lived in. It really is just like a hotel. A fountain in the lobby, with like, real working water. All that. And on our floor in the lobby, I noticed this picture on the wall.

Do you see what she is doing? She is in a fitting room at a store, trying on jeans. Looking close up, the label says “Gap.” Huh.

I would almost expect an image like this in a hotel, but I would immediately judge it as money grubbing and tacky cross promotion. Besides, hotels usually have tasteless art to help make you feel at home.

But this is an apartment building. And this photo isn’t art. It’s of a woman shopping. I guess living in this building means we’ve “made it.” We are in the epicenter of urban lifestyle, where we diligently fuss over our image and spend our ample disposable income buying clothes. How lucky we are.

The worship of consumerism is surreal. So is the presumed familiarity. We all like to shop, right ladies? In my apartment, I am tripping over boxes of stuff that I am loath to part with, but I know I do not need. Right outside my door, I am reminded of the pressure to conform. How I am supposed to look? What I am supposed to buy? How I should spend my time? These are presumed universal values, and by living here, we passed the test. They are just spreading the good news!

Have I gone too deep into this? We all want new jeans, right? Especially if they make my butt look good?

Sorry. I’ve had a rough month. And now I’ve learned that I’m an urban consumerist dickhead. Awesome.


  1. Only one thing to do.

    Guerilla art rehanging!

  2. january was an asshole!!! i agree 100%, lol!!!
    even with kidney issues, your kitty can live a long long life. you might have to inject water under the skin but take it from me (who has been dosing a cat with insulin daily for three years) you get the hang of it really quick.
    if you are looking for a good, not horribly expensive cat food, try Before Grains. find a spendy cat food store, ask for samples, they usually give them out free. my cats love the BG. high protein, extremely low carbs. cats are not designed for carbs and most cat food s are filled with carbs. its filler.
    oh and btw, my cat was grumpy til she got diabetes, now she is a sweetheart. go figure.
    te boss sich sounds ominous…
    moving DOES suck major balls.
    i hate clothes shopping. i love glass shopping. and tool shopping. shop for what you love, you won’t feel like such a consumer whore.
    and i wholeheartedly agree with teh guerilla art-rehang. <cue mission:impossible theme music)

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