From the Blog

Fantasy Careers Part 4: I Need An Angle

I was delighted to get an email from a friend who is a regular reader of my blog, who told me that my site was BANNED on his company’s network. Perhaps it was because of all the times I’ve mentioned boobs on my site. Though I haven’t mentioned boobs for a while. So there hasn’t been a lot of boob action recently. Boobs. Let’s see how many other company networks will ban this site.

I take this as a good sign. I started this blog as a way to keep loved ones appraised of my whereabouts as I hopped from place to place. However, it has always been my intention to write something entertaining enough for strangers to read. Because I need lots of attention. So I’m getting nice comments from strangers and I’m getting banned on company networks. I’m a real blogger now.

Which brings me to yet another entry in my ongoing series of Fantasy Careers:

Fantasy Career Number Four: Blogger that Gets a Book Deal.

There are a number of blogs that I read almost daily that all have book deals. Dooce. Waiter Rant. Crazy Aunt Purl. Daily Coyote. I don’t know if The Pioneer Woman has a book. She should, if she doesn’t. And: TMGAIHAA. Things My Girl Friend And I Have Argued About. This is a short list of many. It makes me jump-for-joy happy to see really great (blog) writers get book deals.

You know what I want? A book deal. I’m a writer. I can write. You know what I DON’T have that all those other people have? An ANGLE.

Among those writers above, we have: A clinically depressed ex-Mormon mommy-blog writer in Utah (hilarious). A New York waiter who’s book is already on NY Times Bestseller list. A woman who suddenly found herself divorced and addicted to knitting. A woman who is raising a coyote pup in the Wyoming outback. An city gal who fell in love with a cowboy and now lives on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. A British guy who argues a lot with his German girlfriend. A lot.

All these people have an “angle.” They are having bizarro experiences that are entertaining to read. They all have a unifying theme. I don’t seem to have a unifying anything.

I’m a drifter with an ivy league degree in humanities? I’m an accidental accountant? I move around a lot? I lived in Los Angeles and worked with a bunch of nutjobs in the movie business? I’m really friggin anxious? I sort of almost wanted to open a coffee shop in Hawaii? My cat is a bastard and won’t let me sleep at night? I moved to Portland, Oregon and I really like it? So far?

Do you see what I mean? How could I write a book with this racket?

Journalism, maybe? I can’t say that I’m a SME (Subject Matter Expert) on anything. I have no real depth of knowledge so I could write with some semblance of authority. I have lots of “broad” knowledge, but I’m completely shallow. Thank god I’m so good looking.

Also? Did you see the first paragraph of this post? Quality. I really don’t know why Harper Collins isn’t knocking on my door right now.

It is frightening to seriously consider the practicality of a long-held fantasy career. I’ve wanted to write since I was a kid. I had a crusty old professor for college English 101, and he read my first assignments, and shook his gnarled finger at me and said, “You must write.”

Gah. This is the one secretly I wish for the most. Our truest loves are most frightening. You know what might happen? I might try. And I might fail. And then, there goes a perfectly good, durable escapist fantasy.

And I’ll be a spinster accountant with 17 cats for the rest of my life.

Other Fantasy Careers: Parts One, Two and Three.

Comments

  1. I think you should work the anxiety angle. You can be the Richard Lewis of blogging!

  2. If you get those 17 cats you could work the “crazy cat lady” angle. I doubt any of the other ones have blogs.

  3. You can write… about nothing. Take the Seinfeld angle. It worked, right?

  4. Yeah, but yer funny. THAT’S worth a whole lot in MY book.

  5. Aw, thanks SMM.

  6. love this. i too am searching for my true calling career-wise. maybe your angle is that your an anxious modern-day gypsy woman searching for a reason to stay put and a way to feel un-anxious. how is that NOT relevant? i just started reading you and i already RELATE to you. so? that’s even better. you’re a RELATABLE (is that a word?) anxious modern-day gypsy woman searching for a reason to stay put and a way to feel un-anxious. i’d read it. for sure.

  7. Here’s an article in the NYT about the advertising success of two of the blogs I mentioned in my post. You might need to login to NYT to see it.

    If I thought I could get buttloads of ad revenue on my site, I would totally sell out in a heartbeat. Artistic integrity be damned!

  8. Jen Hunt, former Co Worker says

    What do you mean “nutjobs”???

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