From the Blog

A Bolt Of Certainty, Like Lightning Out Of The Sky

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One of my major Issues In Life is a rather weak sense of certainty when it comes to Major Decision Making. I never really KNOW if I’m making the right decision. I do a lot of hemming and hawing. A lot of pros and cons. I realize most people probably feel this way. But I think I’m worse than most people, and I have a blog to write all about it.

I am both envious and suspicious of people who seem to have immediate conviction. People who know what they want, know what they believe, know where they are going, know what they need to do. That certainty seems so virtuous, like it comes from stout, unyielding character. It would be more comfortable for me to work something out, make a decision, the final, morally fibrous decision, then put my brain to rest.

But people who are so full of conviction are often so, so, so profoundly wrong about stuff. I don’t need to explain this further. Just talk to your Drunkle at your next family gathering.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.
Bertrand Russell

So instead of thinking I’m indecisive and lacking in character, I like to think I’m very wise. When it’s time for a Big Decision, I’ll think about it, and fret, and do research, and play on the internet, and ask people, and read books, and check the weather, and look at the calendar, and lose some sleep, and formulate a theory, then maybe a direction, then maybe an idea, then maybe a decision. Maybe. It’s an on going process. Liable to change at any time.

Okay? I’m very, very wise. Except, sometimes I’m not. Sometimes, I get shaken out of my fretful lack of conviction. I get a jolt of energy through the core of my weak, doubtful character. If I believed in a higher power, I might call it a divine mandate. I had such a moment not long ago.

It happened when I met this gal.

Oh. My. God. A thousand times.

This face!

I spied her in a crowd of people and meandered over. I said hi to her owners, and this girl wiggled her butt over to me. What a little charmer. She knew I was coming to see her. I knelt down to pet her soft, angelic head, and she immediately rolled onto her back to get rubs and scratches on her soft, angelic belly. “My belly! Rub my belly!” I wanted to put my face down and motorboat that belly.

We’ve been talking about getting puppy. Something small, and preferably something lazy, and not hyper insane with energy or yappiness. We’ve just been casually talking about it. We’re talking about breeds and about adopting from a shelter. We do have a cat, and we do live in an apartment, so we are doing a lot of thinking. We aren’t in a rush. Dave has never been convinced about bulldogs.


Yes, I know they aren’t a super healthy breed. Yes, I know they have breathing problems. Yes, I know they don’t do well in the heat. Yes, I know, they don’t even occur in nature anymore. They’ve been bred to have such big heads that they have to be delivered by cesarian section. They also have to be artificially inseminated. And of course, they are stupid expensive. That is probably the number one reason I am not motor boating a bulldog belly right this instant.

And yes, I know there are plenty of rescue and shelter dogs out there who need homes. I know this.

But see? That’s the problem with certainty. It makes you lose your mind a little.

I’ve totally lost my mind.


  1. You just need to find a bulldog rescue group. I have a fave breed too & that was my plan, but then we had kids instead. There are rescue groups all over the country. Even if there isn’t one right there in Astoria, that doesn’t mean that the group headquartered in Middle-America isn’t trying to find someone to foster or adopt a bulldog right around the corner from you.

    Also fostering might be a good way to see if you really want to do this. That way you aren’t committing to be a forever home before you are sure that’s what you both want. Rescue & favorite breed can go together beautifully!

  2. adopted from the humane society 4 years ago and the rewards are boundless. rescue group or shelter

  3. That dog is C.R.A.Z.Y. cute! I’m sure you will be able to find just the right one for you. Rescue groups and the pound and humane society all have websites you can check daily to see who’s coming through.

  4. Oh yeah, and I wanted to say that I am really similar in my decision making process, if it can be so called. A few times in my life, I have made crazy decisions on the spur of the moment, and none has been as perfect (way better than I could have ever imagined at the time) as when I adopted my cat Zooey. He lived for 12 years and I literally thanked my past self thousands of times for making that very inconvenient decision. Yes, it was harder to get apartments, and I had to factor him in to my ensuing decisions, but I would not have given him up for all the flexibility and freedom in the world! OK so maybe I’m enabling your loss of mind because I want to justify mine, but I feel *sure* (ha!) that it’s the right thing to do! You could also see it as the blind leading the blind. xxxx

  5. Aunty Laurie says

    You are sooo funny! I I feel like we’re eavesdropping on a conversation with yourself !!! Anyway, you’re missing a key component of decision making, Gut instinct, and Blind Faith, so, OK two things! After all the Mundane Research is done, you Throw those two things on the top at the LAST Second and GO WITH IT!!! Do NOT Look back!!! Be Honest with yourself on the Gut thing, and let er RIP!!! Otherwise, (as it sounds like you know) You Second Guess yourself TO DEATH!!!
    Happy searching, something as adorable as that bulldog will Find You! You guys are going to make Great Puppy Parents, And GRAMMA Kathy is going to LOVE to babysit!!!

  6. I know of a puppy you can have…

  7. Your puppies are cute, Steve, but notice the phrase: “not hyper insane.” I don’t think we can get a dog with the word “shepherd” in it.

  8. Actually I’ve been working with Lucy the last couple weeks and it seems she’s not as stupid as we originally thought. I’ve got her coming when I call her and laying down with the “Down” command. She still won’t leave the cat alone, but she’s getting better.

  9. Lorli Woitas says

    Dogs are (cute) bastards like that. They wiggle their way into your consciousness before you even know what happened to you. I know this because we have three, count ’em three, basset hounds. I obviously need blinders when I am near cute puppies. Let me just say that there is a thunderous roar when anyone arrives home, and I think that I need my hearing checked from all of the howling. I also have worries about traveling across country in the near future to Oregon with three canine misfits. But I love them, especially on cold, wintery days.

  10. i do this when i see a corgi or a wiener dog. reeeee-dick-u-lously adorable. fostering sounds like a great way to try it out, and build up karma points in the process.

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