From the Blog

She Moves in Mysterious Ways

I’m naturally a fairly anxious person. As of late, I have an extra number of large things to be anxious about. Unemployment is a fat big one. New city, no money, street parking, no furniture, etc, are all smaller worries that all mix together in a nice, piping-hot plate of Anxiety Pie with a side of Ice Cold Terror. Chocolate ice cream also appropriate.

Anxiety bubbles up in unrelated, unexpected ways. I had a hard time sleeping the other night. I’m still getting used to a brand new, expensive bed, and we have yet to fall in love. It’s a little firm? And it feels like it might slant a little one way? Or maybe I’m imagining things? I like it, but I’m not yet in love. I’m giving it more time, and if the magic doesn’t happen, I’m sending it back to the store. Just like all my boyfriends.

I’m also getting used to my new place. A lot of the time it’s blissfully quiet, which is remarkable considering there are probably 40 units in this building, and it’s in the middle of a metropolis. I get some city noise, and occasionally some neighbor noise. And sometimes just the ticks and settling of an old building.

I woke up the other night to just one of those ticks. I was fitful and restless, and the noise was enough to wake me up. And I wondered what it was. In the kitchen, the stove is brand new. It’s one of the glass cook top models. The “burners” happen to make a similar tick noise as they regulate temperature. And I wondered to myself, “Did I shut the stove off after I made dinner?” I was half asleep, and assured myself, yes, I must have turned it off. Sometimes I can be quite dim, but I’m sure I turned off the stove. And if I didn’t, what’s the worst that can happen? The electric bill goes up? The whole stove melts? Well, I suppose that would actually be kind of bad, but I can’t imagine that happening. It’s glass and steel and stuff, right? Not really prone to melting. I’m sure I turned the stove off. I think.

And so on and so forth. This goes on, in the sleepless half light, for what seems like hours. Could I get out of bed, go over to the stove and check? Yes. But then the anxiety wins, doesn’t it?

I never, not once, ever, said I was a rational human being.

Comments

  1. So was the stove on or not?!!?

  2. I think you need a little MJ during these times.

  3. The stove was off. Nerve wracking, though, huh?

Speak Your Mind

*