From the Blog

Picking Noses In Public

You know what is awesome? Marriage.

Dave (my husband) and I walked from our apartment into town yesterday to go to the farmers market. It’s about a mile to walk. This is a little mid week farmers market put on by River People, which only sells North Coast produce, eggs, meat and seafood.

There was a greeter at the entrance to the market who welcomed us and ushered us in. We stood in the middle of the parking lot to look around and get our bearings. It was bustling and full of people. I was in the middle of a sentence, looking around, and saying blah, blah, blah, when Dave reached out and picked my nose.

He picked my nose.

I froze to the spot. I was completely silenced. I stood, looking at him, my mouth agape, with my half finished words stuck in my throat. It felt like a minute went by, as the farmers market and all the people in town wheeled around us.

“Did you just pick my nose?”

“Yes.”

“What was it?”

“It was a booger.”

“Really? A booger? Hanging out?”

“Yes, it was embarrassing.”

“Did you just pick my nose in a public place?”

“Yes.”

I still sort of couldn’t believe it. How did I have a booger, like a “hanging out” booger, for the whole walk into town? How did I not notice it myself? I’m usually pretty booger conscious, and I’m pretty damn good at picking my own nose.

Furthermore, in our particular relationship, we have loosely defined, but naturally comfortable roles. We aren’t militant about who does what. We are newlyweds and we aren’t really set in our ways. But it’s usually my role to embarrass him, not the other way around. I’m usually quite comfortable being embarrassed, because I usually do it to myself. I don’t always know what to do when someone else embarrasses me. It threw me off kilter.

And then I remembered we were in a public place, with people milling about, and vendors shuffling around, and people just sitting around to people watch. And I realized, we just became the people that are fun to watch.

I asked, “Could you have just told me I had a booger?”

“Yes, but then I’d have to give directions, and try to help you locate it, and that can take so much time. It was easier for me to just take care of it.”

The logic, as it often is with Dave, was impervious. After getting over my initial shock, it dawned on me how awesome it was that my husband just picked my nose for me.

Being married is fucking awesome.

 

Comments

  1. Aunty Laurie says

    At least he didn’t offer it up as a snot snack, like someone else we know would have!

  2. Meredith says

    You’ve entered the next stage of marriage, welcome! (I don’t know what the stages are but this sounds like one.)

  3. But … but wait a minute … i was brought up to believe that you can pick your friends and pick your nose but YOU CAN’T PICK YOUR FRIENDS’ NOSE! AND HE PICKED HIS FRIEND’S NOSE. Sure, your friend happens to be married to you … BUT HE PICKED HIS FRIEND’S (your’s) NOSE!

    What do I do now?

    Good god, I need a drink.

    I knew this would happen after they let heterosexuals marry. I knew it.

  4. I love this story… I laughed out loud a few times as I can literally hear the conversation going on in my head between the two of you.

  5. Eric Wysk says

    To quote Jack Black ” Cause that’s Fucking team work”

  6. We hit 7 years of marriage on Saturday (which is loosely 17 years together) and have yet to do this. Ears, yes. Bellybuttons, yes. Ok, not bellybuttons in public. I am impressed. This is like in The Princess Bride when they (Humperdink?) says that true love doesn’t happen very often, nevermind what the fairy tales say. I hope my marriage isn’t doomed, but it sure sounds like yours is fantastic!

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