From the Blog

Exciting Herb Garden Update

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Who knew herbs could be exciting? They are! They are goddamned exciting! Growing herbs is like going to Disneyland!

If anything, growing myself a little herb garden has long been on my “happy list.” I thought about it for a long time. And like anything you dream about doing for a long time, but hesitate, and delay, and procrastinate over, finally getting it done feels like VICTORY! It feels like being a rockstar! Look at me over here! I’m making my herb garden dreams come true!

So I guess if I ever want to feel like I’m conquering the world, I can just delay forever on simple household projects, so that once I finally finish them, I can feel heroic, like I just climbed a mountain! I’m awesome!

Self delusion is the most powerful delusion, folks.

So I planted my herb garden. I got an herb growing kit and it was perfect for a n00b like me. I put them in my fish tank/grow light contraption to keep my cat from eating the plants and puking his guts out on the wall to wall carpeting. The little herbs began sprouting and they grew so fast, I swear you could almost see them moving.

I planted them on July 13. Below, I took this photo on July 19.

Below, here they are on July 25.

I told you it was exciting. I could have probably put them in a larger pot at this point, but I was about to leave for the weekend to go camping. I didn’t want to traumatize them, then leave them unsupervised for a few days. Below, here are the herbs just before I put them in larger pots.

They are going to town! Everyone looks happy except for maybe the dill, which is all wilty and floppy. The instructions say to cut back all but the strongest seedling, and that is where I began to deviate. I felt bad about growing these guys from seeds, then snuffing them out so soon. I kept everything that grew, and this may prove to be my downfall. They may grow to fight with each other being in such close quarters. But I figure I can cut some back once they are big and tasty, right?

I measured the fish tank and I knew that I could fit 6 inch pots side by side. I got four pots to start, but quickly realized I was going to need more. I figured some herbs could share pots, but I wanted to allow lots of room for the basil. We are most excited about basil. So I planted a bunch (too much, as it turned out) and the basil alone needed three pots.

So I went and got more pots yesterday, but of course, terra cotta is not an exact science. The extra pots I got were 6.3 inches, not exactly 6 inches. So it threw of all my obsessive measuring and planning. Now the pots were not all going to fit in the tank. Damn.

Luckily, I’m smart and I came up with a solution.

I had some plastic storage cube things from Ikea that I used as risers for the basil pots. As I understand, basil likes the most sun, so I am least worried about them being close to the light. My other concern is that the light may not be bright enough, so that the herbs may all get “leggy.” There’s a lot to worry about.

The chives, parsley, cilantro and dill are all on the bottom. Everyone looks happy except, again, the dill.

Emo dill is sad. I’m a little worried about the dill. I can’t imagine how they are going to go from these flaccid, drooping sprouts to healthy plants. I do still see new growth on them, so that’s a good sign.

If the dill survives, it will feel like VICTORY! And it will be goddamned exciting!


  1. We are/were growing herbs but since our landlord cut back all the trees above our patio, we have direct sun, time to rethink positioning.

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