From the Blog

The Deep, Deep Depths of My Anality

I got my car washed Sunday. It’s not as easy to get your car washed in Oregon as it is in southern California. There are car washes on every corner in Los Angeles, with armies of undocumented workers that frequently work for tips only. I think Oregonians have a healthier attitude towards cars and are slightly less obsessed than nutjobs in California.

I, for one, remain completely batshit slightly obsessive about my vehicle and I nearly freaked when I saw a stranger’s palm prints in the dust on my car. Who was touching the hood of my car??? Skeevy! Don’t strangers know you can’t touch a girl’s car without her permission? Don’t touch my fricken car! No, means NO, you bastards!

So my parents are coming to town and borrowing my car to drive to the coast. I needed to clean out the camping grime, various firewood particles, and the Emmett fur from over a year ago. We went to a full service detail place, I paid $30, it took nearly an hour.

It was a warm day and the car was hot when we got back in. I made a request of my passenger not to put the windows down. I got a bewildered look. I explained that the car just had been washed. When you put the windows down, there’s moisture inside the door and it leaves streaks on the nice clean windows that I paid $30 and waited an hour for. I’m pretty sure I heard some internal mocking from the passenger seat.

We rolled into an oil change place and the guy walked up to the window. I opened my door to speak to him.

He said “Don’t you want to put your window down?” I sighed and related the whole explanation again. The oil change dude didn’t seem convinced of my logic.

I wasn’t quite frustrated, but getting close. I put the damn window down. I put it back up. It was covered with streaks and drops of water.

“You SEE? That is what happens.”

The oil change guy said that window washing is part of their service and they’d take care of it. Fine.

We waited for 20 minutes, they tried to upsell me all kinds of shit, and overcharged me for synthetic oil. When I got my car back and drove away, I saw the window was still down. As I figured, when I put it back up and it had streaks. Gah!

Passenger said: “Can I put my window down too?”

Comments

  1. when i lived in CA, i always felt embarrassed because i was too lazy to wash my car often. clearly a sign i was meant for OR.

  2. I was meant for Oregon too!! I haven’t washed my car in months!!! You can write your name on the window on the built up grime… on the inside!! It’s fun!!

  3. I want to put my car next to yours. I haven’t washed my car in five years (two in CA, three in Oregon), and the fact I drive it maybe twice a week means last spring there was a tiny sapling growing between the rear windshield and the trunk.

  4. It sounds like you spent Sunday afternoon in the comic strip “Cathy.”

  5. Wait a minute. You’re in Oregon. Isn’t that the place when you go to get gas a half dozen guys run out to your car fill the tank, check your tire pressure, and wash your windows?

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