From the Blog

Trimming The Weed Garden

Yesterday I woke up and felt like all things are possible.

Does that ever happen to you? I don’t know why yesterday was different than most of my days, when I only feel like some things might be possible.

I’m usually well acquainted with my limitations, fears and anxiety. My lack of focus. My cynicism. My inner critic. I fuss over those limitations like a sickly weed garden. And they prevent me from growing something bigger or more inspiring. I stop before I even start, because, well, I have all these weeds that need my attention. They are so fussy. They take so much energy.

The weeds are the details. The tiny, repetitive details that obscure the bigger picture with mindless tasks or comforting routine. Every one of these weeds block the sunshine. Sometimes I spend so much energy on the weed garden I forget the larger picture, or I lose focus on what I want.

Does this sound familiar? Do you ever feel like you “know better” than to be hopeful or enthusiastic? Doesn’t it feel naive to take risks? Like you’re too smart to get carried away with a wild idea?

It feels better to go tend the weed garden. It feels like a necessity, doesn’t it? If I don’t nurture my limitations, I might have to venture beyond them, and, oh, that’s so haaaard. And scaaaary.

Yesterday I woke up and I my first thought was “WHAT THE FUCK?” What am I scared of? Why the hell am I scared of that? Why the hell would I manufacture something, a bunch of things, to be afraid of, then let them keep me from doing what I want to do? Am I a fucking idiot?

Was it a good night’s rest? I don’t know. I woke up and the weed garden was hacked to the ground. And all things are possible. Fuck you, weed garden!

 

 

Comments

  1. Great post!

  2. Your post is all too familiar. “Fear is the mind-killer….”

    I say dig up those damned weeds for good.

  3. Right on point!

    When I wake up in the morning feeling like I’m ready to “kick some ass and take some names”, I later find myself wondering what I did special or differently that made me feel so good when I woke up that day … When I figure it out, I’ll let you know!

    -M

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